Kiss Strike

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A couple months ago I mentioned that Super F didn’t want me to kiss him in public anymore. It was heartbreaking to say the least, but I knew the day would come. Fast-forward to last week when he asked me not to kiss him at home. I thought, it’s okay, it will pass. Two days later, he still declined my kisses – even at bedtime! I wasn’t sure whether he was trying to get me to beg him to let me give him a goodnight kiss, assert his independence, or just having fun seeing how long he could keep me from kissing him.

My initial urge was to kiss him anyway. But, then I thought about it for a few minutes, and realized this was a teaching opportunity for me. I told him that it was his choice whether he wanted a kiss or not, and if he said no, then that means no. I told him I wouldn’t make him if he didn’t want to. I wanted him to understand that when someone says “no” when it comes to their bodies and personal space/intimacy, that it means no. I want him to respect others and their feelings.

So, after a couple of days and reserving my “best for last” (he ALWAYS wants to be last when saying goodbye) kisses for Daddy, he finally relented and let me start kissing him goodbye and goodnight again.

Briana

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Dogs

Dear Dogs Who Live In My Home,

Dear Dogs Who Live in My Home:

I know life has not been easy the past two years. As our family has grown the time and attention you receive has decreased. It isn’t that we don’t love you. We do, but there are little mouths to feed, little books to read and we barely have time to pee.

Yesterday the two year old wanted to poop like a dog in the yard and I paused for a moment wondering if that would save us time, before I said “People poop in potties.”

So dear pups, as you can see I am a little batty: batty enough to have three dogs, two children two and under, a full time job and a blog batty

Please remember that I still feed you. I still bath you. I bought you those super nice foam beds so you wouldn’t get on the couch.

Speaking of couch… If you would cooperate a little I would have more time to spend with you. For example, stop chewing up the paper towels. The bigger the mess, the more time I have to spend cleaning it up and that is less time I can spend with you.

Also, the whole marking your territory thing is not working for me. Please stop. No, really I mean it. STOP.  You might be animals, but peeing in our house is only making me angry. All three of you are seriously old enough to know better and not old enough to have bladder control problems. We went several years without peeing in the house, so I know you can do it. I believe in you.

I do love you and when the boys are a little older they will play with you more and I will have more time to cuddle with you like I use to.

So let’s just agree not to make life harder on each other and I promise to give you more treats. Sound like a plan?

Desperate Puppy & Human Mother

Peace, Love & No More Dog Pee,

Kristen

For the Young and Ambitious

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As a new Mom entering my 30’s there are some things I already have practice at…budgeting is one of them! Having to deny credit card offers, lease a car, purchase life insurance, shop for medical coverage, and research additional income strategies allowed me to look at my funds differently – more like an asset and investment than spending it on stuff I need and want constantly. On the other hand, if I had to walk into motherhood at the same time I was entering college, I would have probably been a wreck! At that time, I had very little money to manage and was not used to the responsibility of paying bills, balancing a check book (do people even have to still do that?), and shop around for savings.

Your teen years are good for exploring interests and starting your paths toward adulthood. You are still seeking guidance from the adults in your world and should listen in on their experience. The wisdom of elders in our community is a must for success, by the way. You want to remain humble and coach-able throughout your path toward success. One of the ways to remain coach-able is to walk out of your teens with some sense of direction…you’re not expected to know everything!

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It is in your 20’s that you are a full on adult. No one expects you to still be living at home with your parents nor purchasing your dream home – you’re smack dab in the middle of your career and family life. It is also during these years that experts say its best to start developing the habit of investing and saving. The importance and habit of investing and saving are essential to a profitable portfolio. All of the comparisons I see are based on the age of the employee saving, usually a 20 something versus a 30-40 something year old individual. Risk is also so much scarier when you wait too late to save. This is why it is so important to start as early in your career as possible – you are more adventurous when you aren’t so close to retirement.

Image from blovcdn.com

During your 20’s however, you are not truly immersed in preparing for your future – you are still figuring out your career, possibly finishing up your education, and looking forward to building your family. Now add to the list your knowledge of investing and saving. Even if it is the smallest contribution, remember your pennies can grow! There is no need to worry about retirement, necessarily, but you need to research your options. It also helps to find out what benefits you want in a position you are looking for. If the job pays well but has no 401k or medical, it might not be worth the pursuit. Can your company support your ambitions in education and professional growth? If not, you might nee a Plan B. Are you looking into starting your own business? The research should begin as soon as possible – there is no time like the present! A practical and valuable resource for investing can be found here.

~ladiSims 

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~ladiSims

 

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I wants…

So, last week I told you that we took Super F to see Marvel Universe Live as part of his birthday gift. Well, we splurged a little and got really good seats, so on the way in to see the show, I mentioned to him that we weren’t going to purchasing any souvenirs during the show, and that I didn’t want to hear any begging. He agreed. So, we walk in and are immediately inundated with souvenir stand after souvenir stand on the way to our seats.

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Super F immediately asks for a plastic sword. We tell him no. We walk past the next stand, same request. Repeat 5 more times as we make our way to our seats. I gently explain to him how much time I would have to spend at work to make enough to pay for the sword. That gets him thinking for a few minutes and he stops asking about it…until intermission, when the vendor walked past our seats selling the darn sword again!

How do you handle souvenirs and the “I wants” with your kids at events like this?

P.S. He did NOT get the sword…

image credit: http://www.examiner.com

What are You Worth?

Image from monster.com

Walking into my evaluation, I had no idea what to expect. My direct supervisor always seemed to have a hidden agenda. At the last meeting, I was seen as “border-line insubordinate” for my views and responses. I was often criticized for not doing something unethical and was never offered an apology when falsely accused.

I headed into the meeting with my notepad, calendar, water, and pencil. I was 38 ½ weeks pregnant and afraid that I would have to look for another job while on welfare still sore after having my baby – of course they were going to fire me, right? I’d been overlooked for promotions; my work received little praise except in the presence of a few political leaders – which made me assume it was not sincere. Everyone I started with in this company had left or been fired. What was I going to do?

Image from disdblog.com

I walked into my supervisor’s office and sat down waiting for her to respond with her thoughts on my performance over the past year. I wasn’t concerned about my numbers; I’d doubled those with a full quarter left in the program year. It wasn’t my relationship with my clients I was worried about – many sent in raving evaluations. It wasn’t even my attendance; my boss came in at least an hour after I did daily! I had not taken more than 2 days off this entire year.

I’d put in 4 years of school for my BA, 3 yrs to obtain my Master’s, almost $70,000 of student loans, 6 years of loyalty to this company, placing my reputation on the line out in the community, yet was earning a salary I could never raise a family with. I wasn’t supported by the very leadership I was working for but because of my upbringing and personal convictions, I remained loyal and humble. I would even help new staff acclimate to our toxic work environment hoping that would influence change. It never did.

My evaluation should have been on my job performance and possibly my attitude in the workplace. What could I do better? I was hoping to get some constructive criticism but instead I received a document and was told to look it over at home, write down any comments or questions, and turn it in tomorrow…the day I was to be induced for labor – as if tomorrow would not be stressful enough.

It was in that moment I reminded myself of my value. I gathered my things and went back into my office. There was only 25 minutes left in the work day and I took that entire time to read through and type up my response to the evaluation.  There was nothing constructive in the evaluation that I could do, just to do “more” with less time. As I carefully typed my response, I reminded myself of my value. I knew my work was very professional and important to the company. I knew that if I had not carried the integrity I did, many of our partners would refuse to work with us and I knew that my clients were pleased.

Image from mariaeves.com

Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of our own worth. You are more than your paycheck, more than your assets, your car, and your rebellious children. We are worth more than our education or what others perceive of us. Why? Our value is not determined by other’s opinions, people change their minds everyday! We’re not perfect, always on time, or extremely fit and beautiful. Our worth is determined by us. Value yourself. You can always perform better if you so desire – that’s why our worth is so high – we can change, transform, and renew our thoughts and mindset. I could have chosen to focus on the negative situation and stress myself out causing complications within my body. But I chose to give myself an evaluation and remind myself of my worth. I came up with my own regiment of doing better – set my own goals to be more productive, and treated myself to a nice meal afterward. : )

~ladiSims

ladiSims1

ladiSims is a Workforce Consultant committed to “ Monetizing your Mission: Saving and increasing revenue for job seekers, entrepreneurs, and small businesses through empowering employment readiness, social media marketing, and discounted operations. She has over 6 years of extensive experience in social services, workforce development, small business development, recruiting and case management. She serves a variety of job seekers, including veterans and disabled adults, with finding employment and adjusting to career changes. Many of her clients seek to transition into new careers with financial and educational barriers hindering their success. ladiSims also shares resources, teaches Employment Readiness, and provides solutions for small businesses in her community. Born and raised in Chicago, IL, ladiSims has a passion for helping people progress towards their career, family, and entrepreneurial goals – she is also an advocate for education. Her BA degree is in English with a minor in African America Studies from SIUC where she also studied creative writing, journalism, and education. She also has a Master’s in Urban Planning and Policy (MUPP) with a concentration in Community Development from UIC. Her ‘why’ includes her daughter Charlotte, 2 moms, 2 dads, numerous siblings, faith in Christ, and the youth of ChiCity. Among her peers, she is known for simplifying complex issues, offering conflict resolution, and being able to connect with individuals of various socioeconomic statuses, cultures, skill sets, & educational backgrounds. ladiSims uses her ability to create and maintain strategic partnerships to influence both rural and urban communities. Find ladiSims on Instagram, Twitter, and Periscope for more of her shenanigans!

Birthday Experiences

This year Super F turned 7. We decided that he had plenty of stuff (i.e. toys) and wanted to do something a little different for his birthday this year. So, instead of toys, we got him experiences. He has had a passion for cheetahs for the last couple of years, and we found a program at a zoo that offered a behind the scenes tour of the cheetah exhibit. So, we jumped at the opportunity and bought tickets for the day after Super F’s birthday. We sent him on a treasure hunt for the tickets (another great way for kids to practice their reading/reasoning skills!) and took him the next day. He was excited to get so close to the cheetahs, find out their names, and then get to feed one (through the fence of course).

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Afterwards, he said it was a dream come true, and the experience was “phenomenal”. I’m sure it’s a day he will remember much longer than he would have remembered any toy we got him. We also surprised him with tickets to see Marvel Universe Live, since he is BIG superhero fan (more on that next week).

What are your ideas for a “stuff” free birthday?

Briana

 

MommyWurk X7

polls_work_hard_graphic_2_4319_756578_answer_2_xlargeIsn’t that what life is all about. MommyWurk.

With all of the Wurk in my life it has been hard to find the time to write. Fortunately we have great guest posters who continue to provide you fabulous MommyWurk content. A little round of applause for all of our guest bloggers!

In a mother’s life work takes on a variety of different forms:

  1. Housework
  2. Full time job
  3. Part time jobs
  4. Childcare
  5. Personal shopper
  6. The list could go on…

It can be exhausting.

I once read an article that said to be financially successful you should have seven forms of income. I had just graduated from college and I cringed. The idea of working a full time job from 8-5 overwhelmed me. How could I add six other jobs into my life.

Being a little older and a little wiser, I better understand what the writer meant. Maybe one form of income is just a few thousand dollars a year, but all of those thousands add up to make big differences in your families bottom line and possibilities. Read more about creating multiple streams of income here. 

So that is what I have been up to. MommyWurking. My husband recently started a new job. I still have my full time job, I also teach as an adjunct professor once or twice a year, I do consulting work on the side, I am a skin care consultant for Rodan + Fields and I just started representing ONEHOPE.  All of these are great ways to bring in a little extra money and what goes better with great skin than wine. Especially a wine that gives 50% of the profits to charity. Now that is a vice I can get behind. One thing is for sure, no matter what extra streams of income you develop you need to believe in them. If you believe in the causes or products you enjoy  the business and it doesn’t feel like work!

Working moms, how do you work outside the home to provide for your family? Whether it is a full salary or a little extra income, share your success stories with us.

Peace, Love & Financial Success,

Kristen

Senior year, College Apps and Menopause…Oh MY!

Well hello there my Mommywurk friends!  Listen, I know… it’s been a while but after I catch you up with the shenanigans you will grant me mercy.  Well at least I hope…  Grab a coffee, some tea or a glass of wine (it’s 5 o’clock somewhere)!!

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Image credit:  www.youtube.com

September 23 marked our official change into the Fall season.  But for me & my family the season change represents a total overhaul of our lives.  Peanut 2 is in her senior year of high school and I can’t be anything less than terrified.  Do you have any idea the crap I put my mom thru that year?  Sorry, not sorry, it was life changing hehehe!  She is narrowing her college choices and well for me… Menopause has kicked in high gear (it’s the devil).  HOLD UP, STOP…yes menopause has a high gear.  Oh and Peanut 1 moved out but needs to come back home. Yes, I am being punished.

So I started thinking, as a mom you normally give up practically your entire life to nurture your little loved ones.  Then middle & high school happens and you begin to recognize that you have been so wrapped up in parenting that you forgot to live.  Hmmm, well what in the world have I been doing??  I mean, do you ever stop and ask yourself this question?  Really ask yourself, What am I doing?  Just think on that for a minute.

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Image source: Image source: http://www.recaption.com/chemistry-cat/1564/

I found myself doing everything in my power over the last 22 years to be the BEST mom that I could be.  If that meant driving 30 minutes across town to take my kids to schools that would provide them the opportunities I didn’t have or paying rent for my son’s apartment in college because we didn’t get aid and didn’t save for college, I made it happen.  But now, I realize that I forgot about little ole me.  So right as the season has changed and my peanuts are preparing to live their lives I wonder what will I do to fill this void?  I didn’t prepare for this moment.  I was sitting back watching my Peanuts blossom into these fine young adults as I was slowly losing the core of who I was.

As happy as we are to see the summer heat leave, we will miss those sunny days but must fill them up with something else.  So my advice to all the Mommywurkers, don’t forget about YOU.  The kids are going to be fine.  We always make sure they are fine.  But who is making sure that YOU are ok?  Read a book, join a challenge, Eat clean, start a business, change jobs, join a club.  Whatever you do, don’t forget about who you were before kids because you will meet up with her again someday.  And she will stare you in the face and say… Oh, you again!  “Eyes rolling, lips curled”.

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Between these hot flashes, college application fees and my brain fog, I am having a hard time finding 5 minutes to pee so I better run.

Until next time…Stop, drop and Prepare for the Seasons to Change.

DeeMommy

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Dee is a single mom of two who has thoroughly enjoyed parenting her son who is now 21 and daughter who is 16. She calls them Peanut 1 & 2. Dee enjoys her job as a Sales & Business Coach which allows her to work at home as well as travel.

O.P.M.

Image from mafedetroit.org

Moms are awesome! We can take care of just about anything. From the bassinet to the boardroom, we become superheroes. Every now and then however, a little help can go a long way…helping us work smarter instead of harder. This is not prohibited from entrepreneurship.

Our society is molding more female entrepreneurs than ever before and we are taking over whole industries! Whether in direct sales, network marketing, consulting, remote services, or human services, women are dominating business in a major way, and it couldn’t come at a better time.

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During my employ for the past 6 years in Workforce Development, my clients found themselves unemployed for a variety of reasons. Many people assume that if you need public assistance or unemployment, you do not want to work or that you’re just interested in a hand out. I literally had to sit my clients down and explain to them that it was important for them to take advantage of the assistance available to them in order to feed their families, stretch their paychecks, or start a new life. I encouraged them to use the services that way they were initially designed, as a temporary fix.

There are a variety of systems set in place created to help the common man, and entrepreneurs are no different. When looking to start a business, many will simply go broke and bankrupt trying to get things going. Instead, go along with experts who know your field better than you do. An entrepreneur may have a passion, product, purpose or patent but not have a red cent to back it up. If this is you, you are not alone.

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For many entrepreneurs, funding can be very tough to obtain. Learning to juggle your marketing, production, demand, and customer service can be tough…but definitely possible! One area that I am passionate about providing support for is helping you fund your business. No I am not talking about a payday loan or get rich quick scheme – but something that many of us shy away from because we feel we can do everything ourselves… other people’s money (O.P.M.)!

Although some startups tap into a team of financial gurus who can raise funds with ease, many of us still struggle and need some guidance. Get guidance from a number of specialists in the field instead of just one bank or lender at a time. There are shortcuts to finding the right source of funding – especially if you are already disciplined in your operational costs and corporate spending.

If you are looking to expand or start your business and still struggle with financially backing your mission, take a look at our exclusive system. This system was created with the busy entrepreneur in mind. Only those seeking substantial growth need apply – this is not for the fly-by-night hustler.

~ladiSims

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ladiSims1

ladiSims is a Workforce Consultant committed to “ Monetizing your Mission: Saving and increasing revenue for job seekers, entrepreneurs, and small businesses through empowering employment readiness, social media marketing, and discounted operations. She has over 6 years of extensive experience in social services, workforce development, small business development, recruiting and case management. She serves a variety of job seekers, including veterans and disabled adults, with finding employment and adjusting to career changes. Many of her clients seek to transition into new careers with financial and educational barriers hindering their success. ladiSims also shares resources, teaches Employment Readiness, and provides solutions for small businesses in her community. Born and raised in Chicago, IL, ladiSims has a passion for helping people progress towards their career, family, and entrepreneurial goals – she is also an advocate for education. Her BA degree is in English with a minor in African America Studies from SIUC where she also studied creative writing, journalism, and education. She also has a Master’s in Urban Planning and Policy (MUPP) with a concentration in Community Development from UIC. Her ‘why’ includes her daughter Charlotte, 2 moms, 2 dads, numerous siblings, faith in Christ, and the youth of ChiCity. Among her peers, she is known for simplifying complex issues, offering conflict resolution, and being able to connect with individuals of various socioeconomic statuses, cultures, skill sets, & educational backgrounds. ladiSims uses her ability to create and maintain strategic partnerships to influence both rural and urban communities. Find ladiSims on Instagram, Twitter, and Periscope for more of her shenanigans!

936

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That’s the number of Saturdays we get with our kids between birth and when they turn 18. Less than 1,000 Saturdays before they become adults. Since I work full time Monday through Friday, my weekend are pretty sacred to me already. I had never thought about how finite those weekends were until I saw another mom mention it. It’s amazing how fast those Saturdays go. Now that Super F is 7, we only have 572 left! It got me thinking about how I’ve spent those first 364 Saturdays, and whether I’ve made the most of them. We have definitely had some fantastic Saturdays in those years, but I’m sure some were squandered away. Now that I know the number, I’m going to do my best to fill those Saturdays with some awesome memories for him to carry with him after we hit the 936th one.

Briana

 

photo credit: http://maanumberaday.blogspot.com/2013/01/936.html