The Working Mother Warrior

 

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Finding out I was pregnant was definitely a shock. I’d just completed my divorce and was celebrating with a fleeting friend of mine, or so I thought, when I realized my life was about to totally change…again! I was told year prior that it would be very difficult to conceive with my fibroid and that I should give it a try for quite a while before expecting a child. Apparently my body had other plans. I had no idea what my body might go through over the next few months. I was concerned about the responses I would get from family, close friends, and even my partner at the time. Least of all was I worried about my co-workers and supervisor – they were all women and the talk of having a family had often come up in casual conversation. My workplace was the least of my worries…at the time.

After months of careful watch over my health and seeing that the pregnancy was progressing healthily, I informed my boss and coworkers of my pregnancy. I did not want them to be alarmed at my sudden illness or fatigue without knowing what I was going through internally. The initial reaction was excitement but after a while, I guess reality set in. I slowly realized the downside to being a working Mother in our society.

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Several comments were made about my size and inability to do some of my tasks. I was not far along before my doctor advised me to be very careful on my body because of complications. Even after relaying that to management, I was asked to move furniture. When I objected, I was snarled at and met with a comment about how women used to be able to do so much more when they were carrying children decades prior. Very inappropriate and I did NOT move one piece of furniture…I knew better. Even the day before I was to be induced, I was given an evaluation (stress much?).

The day I had my daughter was the most surprising and challenging experience in my life. After being home 6 weeks, it was time to go back to work. I had to repeatedly request private space for nursing and was still often interrupted. There were comments made about my reliability since I now required so many ‘breaks’. Thankfully, that position ended and I started consulting…with a baby on my hip. It was weird and uncomfortable at times but if Mommy didn’t work, there was no money for childcare let alone bills and food.

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I often received looks of confusion like, Why is she here? Can’t you get a sitter? Where is your family support? At the time I ignored it all and attended trainings, seminars, and networking events all with my well behaved little baby. And let’s not even get started on the nursing! I would be so stressed about the comments and looks I’d get in the office or public places that I started to lose my supply! It was AWEFUL! I was fully determined to nurse my child for at least 6 months but the pumping inconsistencies, toxic work environment, and stress of having to leave my child for 9-10 hours a day just left me inept. I was devastated.

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Many people have different ideas about how to raise their children. As a new Mom, I had to make a decision of whether to succumb to the fear of being embarrassed or simply continue to grind with by daughter in tow. Nowadays, I am thankful for my close friends who have generously agreed to watch my little one when I need the support. At the end of the day, however, I pray that I am able to pursue the kind of career that warrants me financial stability AND flexible time to raise my own child on my terms.

The next big idea should come from the vein of Moms being allowed to either work their same positions from home or having a community of employers who look to hire working Moms, welcoming their small children a space in the workplace or at least the personal office assigned to them. I’d like to see that progression…as well as the change in the culture’s view on nursing in public. ITS LEGAL IN ILLINOIS BTW! So leave these mothers alone and let them feed their babies how they want to! #Conquer2016

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What have been your concerns about being a working Mom?

 

~ladiSims

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Hey! What About Me?

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As I sit here, getting some much needed “ME time”, I realize that I have been neglecting myself. 

● I haven’t had a structured workout routine since I was 5 months pregnant with Junior and my hips started to “pop and lock” as I walked on the treadmill.

● I eat whatever I can, whenever I can, from wherever I can and it usually ends up being fast and unhealthy.

● I admitted to Hubby this morning that I only wear a full face of makeup (which for me is eyeshadow and blush) to church and date night.

● I don’t even take the time to comb my hair on a regular basis.  I just pull it up and keep it movin’.  I got my hair done the other day (for the first time in a whole year) and it was so tangled the poor hairdresser could barely comb through it.  Po’ thang must have been sweatin’ bullets.

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On this Mother’s Day, try to remember that it’s okay to take care of yourself all year long.  That doesn’t mean you have to spend goo gobs of money to do it.  Just make sure you take the time to make yourself a priority every now and then.  It is important to take care of yourself so you can take care of others. When you take care of yourself by:

eating right – you don’t have to hire a personal chef, just make sure to include fresh fruits, veggies and other whole foods in your daily diet

exercising – you don’t have to join an exclusive gym (or any gym, for that matter), just walk the track at your local high school or walk around your neighborhood

looking your best – you don’t have to hire a makeup artist, shop at a high end boutique or look like you’re about to hit the runway or red carpet, just wash your face and make sure your clothes are clean and wrinkle-free

feeling your best – you don’t have to visit the spa on a biweekly basis, just run some hot water in the tub, place some candles around it and let Calgon take you away, until you hear..

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then you will be able to give your family your BEST you all year long!

Happy Mother’s Day to the “best mom ever” – YOU!

Until next time-

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:   Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.   Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Proverbs 31:28, 30-31 NIV)

God’s best-

Alexis

Motherless Daughters

  

 

Before June 6, 2012, I had no idea I would be initiated into a group that would change me for the remainder of my life.  My mother passed away suddenly at the young age of 63.  My grieving process has been extremely difficult.  If you are a Motherless Daughter, you understand that process all too well.

  
For the last couple of Mother’s Days, I have mourned like no other.  I barely got out of bed.  I cried and I mean that ugly cry the ENTIRE day.  I didn’t take a shower and I barely ate.  What I totally missed is what I was doing to my children.
My children had to sit back and endure that pain too. 
   During my grieving process they not only lost their grandmother, but they lost their Mother too.  I didn’t celebrate my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter…the list goes on.  I struggled with finding my way as a mom again, hell as a person even.  My mother created traditions that I just had no clue how to continue.  It was literally killing me but more importantly it was killing my relationship with my kids.  How could I take away such joyous times?
  
Just a few months ago, I found myself in a place where I was finally at peace with losing my mother.  YES it will always hurt but some way I found peace.  In finding peace, I found myself.  I am a MOM!  Not just any MOM.  I am Peanut 1 & 2’s mom.  It doesn’t get any better than that.
So today I ran a 5K in support of all my Motherless Daughters and tomorrow I will run a 5K in memory of my MOM.  It is important to create memories and traditions with your kids so the Sullivan Family will be celebrating again! Happy Mother’s Day!!!
Stop, Drop & Celebrate
Dee
Dee is a single mom of two who has thoroughly enjoyed parenting her son who is now 21 and daughter who is 16.  She calls them Peanut 1 & 2.  Dee enjoys her job as a Sales & Business Coach which allows her to work at home as well as travel.

And the Oscar Goes To…

I didn’t watch the Oscars on Sunday night.   So sue me.  I enjoy movies just as much as the next person, but these people make a great deal of money for what they do.  As their fans we subsidize their extravagant lifestyles.  How much recognition do they need?  Designers GIVE them dresses that cost more than my car.  Attendees receive gift baskets full of gifts that are worth more than my home.  Then they sashay up to the stage to receive awards for being someone else.  Afterwards they party like it’s 1999.  I’m sorry, I can’t do it anymore.

As a society we recognize and give great honors for things that are less than deserving while allowing the people and achievements that matter go unrecognized.  Well, I, for one, am tired of it.  It’s time to stand up for the true honorees!  The ones who:

● give up their lives for another

● endure sleepless nights to care for another

● work tirelessly to provide for the needs (and many wants) of another

● take their time to diligently teach and instruct others

● spend countless hours counseling others

● risk their safety to protect others

● hold back tears to console others through heartaches and disappointments

● neglect their own health to nurse others back to health

● forego their own commitments to constantly chauffeur others

And the Oscar for Best Mom in “A Child’s Life” goes to…YOU!!!

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God bless you for all you do!

Until next time…

“Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.”  (Romans 13:7 NIV)

God’s best-

Alexis

And Then She Rested

The best you can offer your family starts with the best you. The best you starts with a well-rested you. As (working) moms we often lack the proper rest because we feel we are letting our family down if we are not constantly doing for them. And we feel we are letting ourselves down if we are not constantly accomplishing something. But, I have learned that the dirty bathroom, dishes, and laundry are not going anywhere…unless Hubby takes care of it. 🙂 The work assignments and projects will be there on Monday when you return to the office. The basketball, football and soccer teams will still have games even if Junior misses one. The dance recital and gymnastics competition will still happen even if Missy is not there. As mothers, we have to learn to take a break and rest. Relax Mommy, you deserve it. What creative ways do you find to relax?

Until next time…

“And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.” (Genesis 2:2-3 NKJV)

God’s best-

Alexis

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