Dear Dogs Who Live in My Home:
I know life has not been easy the past two years. As our family has grown the time and attention you receive has decreased. It isn’t that we don’t love you. We do, but there are little mouths to feed, little books to read and we barely have time to pee.
Yesterday the two year old wanted to poop like a dog in the yard and I paused for a moment wondering if that would save us time, before I said “People poop in potties.”
So dear pups, as you can see I am a little batty: batty enough to have three dogs, two children two and under, a full time job and a blog batty
Please remember that I still feed you. I still bath you. I bought you those super nice foam beds so you wouldn’t get on the couch.
Speaking of couch… If you would cooperate a little I would have more time to spend with you. For example, stop chewing up the paper towels. The bigger the mess, the more time I have to spend cleaning it up and that is less time I can spend with you.
Also, the whole marking your territory thing is not working for me. Please stop. No, really I mean it. STOP. You might be animals, but peeing in our house is only making me angry. All three of you are seriously old enough to know better and not old enough to have bladder control problems. We went several years without peeing in the house, so I know you can do it. I believe in you.
I do love you and when the boys are a little older they will play with you more and I will have more time to cuddle with you like I use to.
So let’s just agree not to make life harder on each other and I promise to give you more treats. Sound like a plan?
Desperate Puppy & Human Mother
Peace, Love & No More Dog Pee,