Do you remember the ABC show called Dinosaurs ? It aired from 1991 to 1994 on Friday nights in a series called TGIF. I loved that show as a kid. Looking back it portrayed a concept known even in the stone ages, the power of Mama.
What Baby Sinclair is sharing with his father, Earl is something H and Baby C2 share frequently with Andy. He is “Not the Mama.” When they get hurt they want Mama. When they get mad they want Mama. When they are scared, hungry or sad, they want Mama. Poor Andy. The times when H states he wants Daddy over me make him feel so wanted. I feel badly.
H and Baby C2 are teething. Last night was particularly difficult because they woke each other up. H refused to let me hold the baby. “Baby crib, baby with Daddy,” H kept saying. “I need Mommy,” he would cry. Meanwhile the baby wailed because he wanted to be rocked back to sleep by, you guessed it, Mama. It can be overstimulating on the best day and downright overwhelming on the worst. Andy helps out a lot, but at times it just makes the crying or the need worse. He is not always a substitute for Mama.
There is something special and powerful about the mother archetype. Psychologist Carl Jung believes that we are born into the world with the need to have someone personify the mother figure for us. Frued believed that the mother archetype was something that formed in layers and we more individual to the needs of a particular child. As the child grew and developed needs they each sought a person who would respond uniquely to them in a mothering way. I think it may have something to do with a our manner as well. We typically have calmer voices, are more patient (even after a loooong day at work). Not to mention we are softer and smell sweeter. There is not much that is comforting about a little stubble and the rugged smell of Old Spice. Sexy, yes! Comforting, not as much. Regardless of the reason, there is no replacement for Mama.
H and the baby love Andy. They adore him in fact. They talk about him all the time, they like to call him on the phone on the way home from school and he is their favorite person to play with. However, in this phase of their life they need their Mama more.
I tell Andy all the time that soon it will change. Soon they will prefer Daddy because he is a boy and I am a girl. Soon I will be regulated to the different category and I won’t be nearly as much fun. For now, I am going to enjoy being the one they need because they will only need me this much for a little while.
Peace, Love and Being Mama,