Be Still My Heart

I must confess, having children sometimes feels like your heart is exposed to the world. You never stop worrying. The constant worry feeling is something most parents understand well. It never goes away. It might fade or you might get use to feeling it so the acuteness lessens, but it never dissipates. This is especially true when your child is ill or needs surgery. 



Baby C2 is fine. He is just getting tubes, but I worry. I worry about how the anesthesia will affect him. I worry that he will be uncomfortable. I worry that perhaps all the antibiotics and all the ear infections already did something to somehow damage him or make him resistant. 

What can I do with this worry beast who places all his weight squarely on my chest? 

I can be thankful. I can be hopefully. I can educate myself on options, complications and the backgrounds of the physicians I am entrusting with my child’s care. 

These things help me breath. We are not dealing with neuro, cardio or cancer. I am so thankful for that. So I get up at 4 in the morning and I take my precious baby to the surgery center and I pray that it is as easy and routine as it is suppose to be. 

Regardless, I worry. The beast might lose weight at times, but he is always there. I think I am ok with that because it reminds me not to be flippant and to carefully consider my childrens’ needs. In this way I protect them and my own heart. 

What weight are feeling about your children right now? 

Peace, Love and Careful Consideration,

Kristen

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